I need to lose weight

I've done this before, lost 89 pounds using weight watchers and nearly got down to my goal weight. Had a breast reduction once I made it to a healthy weight and it could be covered by Canadian health insurance. I blogged it all at phoenixblaise.blogspot.com, was very active on the weight watchers online community, got my sisters all losing weight and was solid as a rock on plan.

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I was healthy, I was fit, I was happy, or so I thought.

Then my sanity left me, I was so focused on the need to lose that last 20 pounds that I went right off the deep end, my health took a nosedive (diagnosed with anxiety, depression and Fibromyalgia), and I regained everything, plus some, faster than I took it off.  Now I feel awful, my body and mind are still broken, and I'm 5 years older. The highest weight I actually saw on the scale was 258.5 lbs.  Though I know I gained a bit more after that.  That was in September 2016.

Since then, we made a big move across the pond.  We now live north of Oxford, UK and are loving it here!  I was lucky to have found a doctors office that is helping with the struggle to lose weight and I'm on the right path.  I've seen the Nurse a couple of times and have lost some from my highest weight.  My last weight was 247.4 lbs in early January.  Most of that is because I have a physical job as a carer as I wait to become licensed to work here as a Nurse. I haven't been back since then, and I haven't been trying to lose anything, stress has been high.  But I've signed up to weight watchers and booked myself off wednesday mornings for the next two months.  So I'm going to try.

I don't feel successful, and I don't feel like I want to eat well. But I want to lose weight, I'm tired of this.  So I'm going to use my sisters idea.  "Fake it until you make it".  If I pretend to be successful, look like I want to eat well, act like I'm healthy, maybe someday I will be successful, maybe someday I will eat well and maybe someday I will be healthy.